You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
