I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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