Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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