I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
