my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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