I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
