please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
