writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
