dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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