I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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