I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
