Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
