his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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