If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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