i don't plan on having that self control this summer
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
