Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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