He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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