hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I love you. Go after that dick
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
