I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
