would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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