She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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