If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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