i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
