Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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