I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
you made out with another girl for some wings
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
