It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
