Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
