I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
