the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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