I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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