Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
