margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
