When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
