I'm going to jail i love you
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
