Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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