How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
