I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i came on her dog
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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