Just cropdusted the office
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
