Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This is my gift to your gina
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
