maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
