the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
