I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
