I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
