if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
