Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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