She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
