He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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