are you still at the devil's house?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
