I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
