She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
