If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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