? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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